I’m a terrible substack writer
And let me tell you why…
I write this from my bed and it is the first morning of a Christmas vacation. I am terrible at writing for my substack and let me enumerate the reasons why:
I am not a writer. I’m basically just some sort of spongey, doughy, part-time, word compilationist.
I am in bed. I wish I did this more. Beds are for sleep, shithead. Why are you writing in bed?
Writing is hard. Ask people who do it. Especially high school students.
I teach high school students how to write. Who would ever give me this job? I don’t know. I imagine it is a daily regret. Or some day they’ll win administrator of the year.
Teaching high school students is hard. If my brain is described as a prize machine and each day that little claw can come down and grab some sweet, sweet nuggets, I feel like the machine is empty by the time I’m done. I’m sorry if you already paid. No refunds.
Ok that’s about it. Let me know if you want a refund, Ron. Literally this message is just for Ron. For the rest of you, please consider paying me monthly so that you can read the work of a non-writer infrequently. It won’t be worth the money :)